Question: My husband refuses to wear his wedding ring, saying he doesn’t like how it feels on his finger. He won’t wear it in any form, not even on a necklace. He doesn’t wear accessories in general. Honestly, this bothers me, and after years, I feel like I have resentment towards him. I’ve told him how I feel, but nothing’s changed. I know he’s faithful and loves me, but would this bother other women? Am I overreacting?

Dr. Vo: I don’t think asking others if this would bother them will make you feel less bothered or better about your situation. As you mentioned, it bothers you, and there’s some resentment there. Hearing other people’s opinions likely won’t change how you feel because this is about your experience, not theirs. It’s perfectly valid to feel bothered when something that matters to you feels overlooked.

Resentment often arises when our needs or requests go unmet, especially after we’ve expressed them. In this case, the wedding ring may symbolize something deeper for you—commitment, love, or a public declaration of your bond. When a symbol tied to our feelings is dismissed (even unintentionally), it can feel hurtful or frustrating.

A wedding ring means different things to different people. For some, it’s a daily reminder of their connection. For others, it’s a way of saying to the world, “I’m taken.” The meaning we attach to symbols often shapes how we feel about them. If this is important to you, it makes sense that his refusal to wear the ring might feel like it’s diminishing something meaningful in your relationship.

On the other hand, some people just don’t like wearing accessories or find them uncomfortable. For him, it might be less about your relationship and more about his personal preferences or sensory sensitivities.

It might help to reflect on what his not wearing the ring means to you. For example:

• What does the ring symbolize for me—love, partnership, commitment, or something else?

• What am I interpreting his choice to mean about our relationship or his feelings toward me?

• Is there another way my husband and I could meet the underlying needs the ring provides me?

This reflection might offer some clarity. You could then share your answers with your husband, without trying to pressure him to change. For instance, you might say:

"I know you’re not a fan of wearing accessories, but the ring means [X] to me. When it’s not there, I sometimes feel [Y]. Is there another way we could create the same sense of [Z] that the ring represents for me? I’d also love to hear what the ring means—or doesn’t mean—to you. "

Exploring whether there’s another way to meet the underlying need (like reassurance, acknowledgment, or connection) can foster understanding. Even if his behavior doesn’t change, the emotional connection between you might deepen through this conversation.