Transcript:
When I hear or see this question-- "Why are you still single?"-- especially on a date, I just cringe because it's not a great way to get a date or to start a conversation or to get the other person to like you even more. The person who is asking this question may be genuinely curious about the reasons as to why the other person is single, or is even concerned about the other person’s “single” status. But the person who’s hearing this question is probably feeling uncomfortable, disrespected, insulted, and in turn, will probably respond in a defensive way and will likely view the questioner in more a negative light. The question is really saying,"I expected you to already be “taken” or be in a relationship given the positive things I see in you or I know about you, and yet, here, you are still single. So what’s wrong with you? You’re not matching up to my expectations of you in terms of your relationship status.” And as you hear that, you can see there’s that judgmental tone and that suspiciousness that comes with it, and that doesn’t make the other person really want to connect, right?
So if someone is asking you this on a date, that might be a red flag. And if you still want to engage with them, but want to deflect the question, you can answer with something flirty like-- "Well, aren’t you lucky that I am?" or "Well, maybe, I’ve been waiting for you." And If you want to be direct and honest in expressing your feelings, you can say something like-- “You know I feel uncomfortable or offended with this question. Can your rephrase that?” And if you’re the one asking this question during the date, please just stop. If you feel the need to really ask, you can say something like--“What have you enjoyed about being single? What are things that you’ve done that you really liked?" These types of question are going to open up the conversation and it’s a great way to get to know the other person and their relationship history without leaving a bad taste in their mouth or without risking the chances of offending them. Thank you for watching.
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